Growing Up and Growing Out

Let's play the Chain Sentence game:

I left my coat.

I left my coat at the bar.

I left my coat at the bar on December 23.

I left my coat at the bar on December 23 and I did not realize it until Christmas Eve Day.

I left my coat at the bar on December 23 and I did not realize it until Christmas Eve Day when I rooted around my purse for my stepfather's missing car keys.

~

Irresponsible? Yes, but not the worst part.

I almost got arrested on Christmas Eve, hours before I discovered the missing car keys. To say I was acting unfavorable would be an understatement. Yelling. Biting. The officer was ready to haul me off when my friend convinced him otherwise.  The next morning, neck deep in remorse and finishing off a large pizza, Riloo and I decided there was only one way to feel better about our mutual misbehavior--- leave $100 bucks on a random Chauncey doorstep in the name of "charity". What can I say besides...it seemed like a good idea at the time.

~

Maybe it's an adverse reaction to "The Secret" (did anyone else feel repulsed after reading that?) or maybe it was my run-in with the law but I've had two not-so-startling realizations :

1.) I've grown out of my hometown.

I crawled around Athens, Ohio on New Years' Eve, like some sort of mangy cat  looking for milk, affirming this conclusion. I couldn't stay in one place. I was antsy, pawing every place I knew, leaving loved ones behind, staying for moments at Jackie O's, inhaling scraps of Goodfellas, being affectionate to the deserving and undeserving, searching for something....

Something different.

Athens...it's not you...it's me. You've been swell but I've listened to Power 105 too many times and I've had too many hot nuts at Tony's. I don't like regressing to my Colonial Club high school self. Who wants to backpedal? I'm suffocating. No really....I'm actually choking on my La Croix right now.

2.) I need to grow up.

Growing up is like showering: it's overrated but you have to do it sometime. And while 2010 hasn't officially been declared THE YEAR I GROW UP, I think my purchase of a hairdryer and hairbrush will attest to my serious intent.

The However is: I have boundaries people, let's not get too crazy. Buying a cell phone with a two year contract made my stomach scream. I reserve these rights:

-I will not send Christmas Greeting cards. Sorry. They're nice but I will never be that kind of gal. I'm the kind of girl that steals Christmas cookies.

-I will get excited about Christmas. Now and forever.

-I will cut/style/dye my hair however I want. This includes wigs and hats. And Korean bowl cuts.

-I will mix black and brown or black and blue or whatever that rule is. I don't follow the white after Labor Day rule either.

-I will not take being politically correct too seriously. And neither should you.
-I will continue to think that "turd" is one of the funniest words ever.

-I will have certain days where I do not change out of sweatpants.

-I will not go to any event with the word "shower" in it. Baby shower. Bridal shower. These events should be abolished anyway.

-I will continue to call my dad "daddy".  I don't care if you think it's weird.

-I will save up money and travel again.

That's it, One Backpack, No Hairbrush fans, growing up and growing out------->I'll keep ya posted.