Worries, Distractions, Canada

Will my dad come to my brother's wedding? If he does... will he be pleasant? Or will I feel the wrath of his stress? Will my grandma make it there? Will it be too hot for her? It's an outdoor ceremony; what if it storms? What if it's like Axl Rose's wedding in "November Rain"?

And what about my sister? Will she be awkward at the wedding? Will she be moody? She is starting college soon; will she make it to class? Will she be a stupid freshmen girl? What if she drinks a bunch of vodka and passes out at a frat house? What if she gets hooked on drugs? WHAT IF SHE ENDS UP ON GIRLS GONE WILD?

My older brother is the best man at the wedding. He's going to Afghanistan soon. Ahhhh. Will my little burrito behave while he is gone? Will my niece be sad? How will my sister-in-law cope? How will my brother cope? WILL HE BE OK?

WHAT WILL HAPPEN? DO PEOPLE HATE ME? DO I HAVE A DRINKING PROBLEM? WHAT DID I DO LAST FRIDAY NIGHT? DO I HAVE ENEMIES NOW? WHY DID I JUST DRINK SOME STRONG EARL GREY? DID I WANT TO FREAK OUT? WHY DIDN'T I JUST CHUG THREE LA CROIX LIKE I USUALLY DO? AHHHHHH.

BREATHE. BREATHE.

What I need is a distraction and, luckily, I have plenty! Tomorrow I go to Canada to visit my musical soul mate Danya.( Oh Danya! The music we could compose if we only knew how to play instruments! ) Even better---I'm taking the Greyhound! So not only will I have a broad range of characters to observe but I will have the fear of decapitation on a bus to occupy my mind.

ANOTHER trusty diversion from insomnia and neurotic freaking out ----my HOROSCOPE. Yeah, yeah, I'm one of THOSE people. My horoscope this week in the Athens News (the best horoscopes EVER) said the following:

In the days ahead, you may not realize what you're looking for until you find it. I advise you, therefore , to put into action the following five-point plan. 1) Suppress any know it- all tendencies you might have. 2) Revive your childhood talent for being voraciously curious about everything. 3)Ask more questions than you've ever asked before. 4)Figure out how to be receptive without being passive, and how you can be humble without muffling your self-confidence. 5) Consider the possibility that you have a lot to learn about what's best for you.

Although I really enjoyed this horoscope and I think I could apply it to certain aspects of my life-particularly my love life-I wish it simply stated, "Don't worry about things you can't control and have the courage to change the things you can." Or something Serenity Prayer-ish.

So I'll follow my own little voice and contemplate issues that fall within my jurisdiction; such as whether to take my bindle or my backpack to Canada.